Found and Filed

Episode 12: The Bad Cats

--------: 1:24 PM
LouisTheCat: rick
LouisTheCat: rick
LouisTheCat: rick
RickDickens77: What's up
LouisTheCat: im in bad shape here rick
RickDickens77: What did you do now
LouisTheCat: it wasnt my fault
LouisTheCat: i got in a fight
RickDickens77: A fight?? What happened?
LouisTheCat: it was the bad cats
RickDickens77: Oh my god Lou, are you ok?
RickDickens77: How bad is it?
LouisTheCat: im not good
LouisTheCat: ill probably live
LouisTheCat: but im not good
LouisTheCat: i need you home
RickDickens77: Wow, Lou, I'm so sorry
RickDickens77: I'll be home as soon as I can, ok?
LouisTheCat: please hurry rick
--------: 1:49 PM
RickDickens77: Lou, I'm still working on getting out of here
LouisTheCat: rick you gotta get home man
LouisTheCat: things are getting bad here
RickDickens77: I know, I'm trying
RickDickens77: My boss is driving me crazy
LouisTheCat: is it because hes black
RickDickens77: ...What?
LouisTheCat: is your boss driving you crazy because hes black
RickDickens77: No. That's not why.
RickDickens77: My boss isn't even black.
LouisTheCat: is it because hes siamese
RickDickens77: No. Siamese? No. My boss is white, like me, not that it matters.
LouisTheCat: is it because hes a woman
RickDickens77: No, my boss isn't- OK what is this about
LouisTheCat: ive just heard some things rick
LouisTheCat: some terrible things
RickDickens77: Right. From who.
LouisTheCat: the bad cats
RickDickens77: The bad cats. The bad cats were talking about me.
LouisTheCat: thats right
LouisTheCat: why do you think i got in a fight
RickDickens77: You got in a fight because of me?
LouisTheCat: i got in a fight defending your honor rick
RickDickens77: What on earth were they saying?
LouisTheCat: some things i dont even want you to have to hear
RickDickens77: Try me.
LouisTheCat: are you sure
RickDickens77: Out with it.
LouisTheCat: they say youre racist rick
RickDickens77: Well, that's crazy.
LouisTheCat: is it
LouisTheCat: is it rick
RickDickens77: Why, do you agree?
LouisTheCat: well
LouisTheCat: is it or is it not true that you targeted the two black cats down the street for tearing up our doormat
RickDickens77: They were the ones doing it!
LouisTheCat: sounds like profiling to me
RickDickens77: There were chunks of it in their back yard!
LouisTheCat: circumstantial evidence
RickDickens77: Wait, this is ridiculous.
RickDickens77: Those cats are troublemakers.
LouisTheCat: those cats
LouisTheCat: listen to yourself
RickDickens77: I don't hold an opinion about black cats, the ones who did that just happen to be black.
LouisTheCat: so you expect us to believe you didnt look to them first
LouisTheCat: because of their color
RickDickens77: All cats are the same!
LouisTheCat: rick
LouisTheCat: wow
LouisTheCat: i dont even know what to say
LouisTheCat: just wow
RickDickens77: You know what I mean.
LouisTheCat: sure i know
LouisTheCat: we cats are all the same
LouisTheCat: lazy
LouisTheCat: untrustworthy
LouisTheCat: good at basketball
LouisTheCat: ive heard them all rick
RickDickens77: Stop it.
LouisTheCat: anyway thats not all they say about you
RickDickens77: I can't wait.
LouisTheCat: now i dont think this is true
LouisTheCat: theyre probably just making this up
LouisTheCat: but these guys say youre a cat smuggler
RickDickens77: A what.
LouisTheCat: a cat smuggler
RickDickens77: I don't think there is any such thing.
LouisTheCat: youd be surprised
LouisTheCat: happens all the time
RickDickens77: It does?
LouisTheCat: oh rick you would not believe
RickDickens77: I bet I wouldn't. Anyway, why would they think that about me?
LouisTheCat: apparently
LouisTheCat: and trust me they would never hear this from me
LouisTheCat: but theres this rumor that a few years ago you took a cat from old mrs wembley
RickDickens77: Oh really.
LouisTheCat: just saying what i heard
RickDickens77: That's a pretty bold accusation.
LouisTheCat: the true ones often are
RickDickens77: Well that one does happen to be true.
LouisTheCat: rick
LouisTheCat: rick no
LouisTheCat: how could you even
RickDickens77: IT WAS YOU LOU.
LouisTheCat: you stole me oh my god
RickDickens77: NO, SHE GAVE YOU TO ME.
RickDickens77: She had like ten cats, and she was getting too old to take care of them, so she was giving them away.
LouisTheCat: oh that mrs wembley
RickDickens77: Yeah. That Mrs. Wembley. I had permission to take you.
LouisTheCat: ok well lets say for a second that i buy that
LouisTheCat: and im not saying these guys will
LouisTheCat: but even if i believe you about that much
LouisTheCat: they also say
LouisTheCat: and again this is just what im hearing on the streets
LouisTheCat: they say theres a lady who left here smelling like cat pee
RickDickens77: Oh, for God's sake.
LouisTheCat: hey thats just the word out there
RickDickens77: I bet if you think REAL HARD, you can figure out what that one's about.
LouisTheCat: yeah ok i might remember something about that
LouisTheCat: still
LouisTheCat: you have to admit it looks suspicious
RickDickens77: I have to do nothing of the sort.
RickDickens77: Now listen, I need to get back to work so I can get home and help you out.
LouisTheCat: theres one more thing rick
RickDickens77: Alright, go. Quickly.
LouisTheCat: you drive a ford festiva
LouisTheCat: the whole neighborhood thinks you drive a festiva
RickDickens77: I do drive a Festiva. It's a good American car.
LouisTheCat: oh god i cant even
LouisTheCat: i just barfed
LouisTheCat: rick why
RickDickens77: It's a car, what's the big deal
LouisTheCat: oh my god i cant even stop barfing
LouisTheCat: rick who are you
LouisTheCat: im trying to defend you rick
LouisTheCat: im putting my reputation on the line out there
LouisTheCat: taking back things i said about you
LouisTheCat: but youre not giving me much to work with
RickDickens77: Ok, ok, enough
RickDickens77: Who are these "bad cats" anyway
LouisTheCat: oh the persians
LouisTheCat: awful breed
LouisTheCat: slippery
LouisTheCat: evil
LouisTheCat: godless
LouisTheCat: hate shorthairs
RickDickens77: You have got to be kidding me.
LouisTheCat: i wish i were rick
LouisTheCat: the world is a troubled place
--------: 2:25 PM
RickDickens77: Alright look
RickDickens77: I offered to work the weekend to get out of here early today
RickDickens77: So I'm on my way. Hang in there pal.
RickDickens77: Thanks for sticking up for me, sorry you got hurt.
--------: RickDickens77 has gone offline
LouisTheCat: no no i won that fight its just the tv wont turn on